Writing Advice #8 * BOYFRIEND EDITION*

Send your writing-related questions to: itsottessab@gmail.com. Each week I'll pick a question and answer it here.

Dear Ottessa,

I've always wanted to be one of those writers who casually asks people "what [they] think about my work," and I can do it -- I can roll up my sleeves and say, "Hit me, tell me what you think.”

But when I ask my boyfriend to read or edit some of my writing, I hit a wall. Every clarifying question, every probing intervention, every "can I just point this sentence out..." feels like a wounding reminder that he can't see into my soul. I even feel ashamed to use new words that I've recently discovered out of fear that he'll take me to be some kind of poser.

What is this feeling? What am I afraid of him seeing? Is this a sign of love?

Do we need to have our lovers read or know our writing?

Sincerely,

Beyoncé

Dear Beyoncé,

That mysterious feeling you mention might be as simple as misplaced shame—you know that showing your work to your boyfriend is a dumb idea, and yet you keep doing it.